Sharon's Letter I just had a stillborn last week at 34 weeks.  I will be 41 next month and have no other children.  My sister found your website and I have been reading the "Mother's Stories".I am, of course, devastated.  I lost my mother last year after being her caregiver for 2 years.  I thought that this baby was my reward.  Instead, I am shattered.  I just wanted to thank you for creating your website.  I felt so alone in this.  My friends all have healthy babies.  How could this have happened to my husband and I?  I blamed myself.  The Doctor said that the chord was compressed and blood clots were all through the chord.  After a million questions, he assured me that there was nothing I could have done to avoid this.  Then, I chalked it up to "God's Will".  I have always had great faith, but now, all I can think is that I am being punished because I was nervous throughout the pregnancy.  How did you ever get through the experience?  I don't know that I'm strong enough, even though life has beaten me up pretty hard with tough challenges, and I always emerged stronger and more compassionate.  I really don't know that I'll be able to emerge from this experience.  I am distraught.  The support group at my hospital is on summer break, so I'll be looking for another one.  I also called a therapist to help me with my anxiety and grief. Each morning, I awaken from a xanax-induced sleep to realize all over again that my baby is gone.  I'm terrified that we will never be able to have children.  I was planning on giving up my career to be a mother.  Whatever will I do now?  Thanks for letting me put my feelings into words.  I realize you must be busy, so if you can't get back to me, I'll understand. Sharon Roy